Ok, today is the day that I am going to ask you to do some thing RADICAL!
Well, yes and no, but a super important topic for anyone who wants to grow, heal and move forward in their life.
Wait what?!?! yes, let’s focus on one of the most fundamental parts of emotion regulation, personal empowerment, self compassion and overall life balance.
“acceptance of life as it is, not as it is supposed to be; and the need to change, despite that reality and because of it” – Dr. Marsha Linehan
There are three parts to radical acceptance.
- The first part is accepting that reality is what it is.
- The second part is accepting that the event or situation causing you pain has a cause.
- The third part is accepting life can be worth living even with painful events in it.
Radical Acceptance is a part of a therapeutic approach called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) designed by the amazing psychologist, Dr. Marsha Linehan. This therapeutic approach was invented to help people, who were suffering terribly, learn to regulate their emotions and live a life worth living. Even though you may not be suffering, most people find themselves, at some point, in a state of wanting a life that is different that they are currently experiencing. Sometimes it is this wanting or wishing that lowers our self esteem and increases sadness or life dissatisfaction. The first step on the path to living a life that you want, is accepting the life that you currently have and then deciding what you are willing to work hard on to change.
I am not saying that this is easy. It is actually a very difficult practice, but from experience I can tell you that the result of your effort is astounding emotional freedom and personal empowerment.
Want to Get Started Radically Accepting?
Start with asking yourself the following questions about a recent difficult situation in your life:
Radical Acceptance: “So that happened…”
- What events led up to the distressing situation?
- What role did you play in creating this situation?
- What role did other people / another person play in creating this situation?
- What did you have control of in this situation?
- What didn’t you have control of in this situation?
- What was your response to this situation?
- How did your response affect your own thoughts and feelings?
- How did your response affect the thoughts and feelings of other people?
- How could you have changed your response to this situation to lead to less suffering for yourself and others?
- How could this situation have occurred differently if you had decided to radically accept the situation?
Source: For more information about how to explore these questions: CLICK HERESo when your not so fine, start working on some mindfulness and self compassion…
To live the best version of a life we first have to accept our life as it is and get out of the rut of wishing it was different, especially with things that are out of our control. Once you accept and acknowledge, we can then decide what WE want to do about it.
Take the time to work hard and design the best possible life for yourself. Be the main character in your story.
I would love to hear the good things that you are making happen in your life. Tweet me @SuccessMohawk and use #MakeGoodThingsHappen. Let’s share and learn from each other 🙂
Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)
eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success