Learning to Reframe Adversity: Yes Bad Things are Terrible, but so is Giving Away Your Power!

Acceptance

Reframing adversity is not about pretending that something did not happen, it is about accepting the reality of it, “yup, that happened” -> “this is horrible” -> “poor me” -> “I don’t love this feeling of being out of control” -> “Now what can I do next to make my life better?” Reframing begins at the last statement.

Accepting that it is indeed a fact and it did happen, there’s nothing that you can do to change that fact, but you can change how you react and how you carry on.

Someone said to me once that I could choose to make myself miserable or choose to make myself strong after some crappy crap that happened.  I chose strength, misery sucks and it takes so much more time and energy to be miserable.

Koru

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become” – Dr. Carl Jung


This is #3 in my 10 part series this academic year on

“Being Nice to Your Brain”

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Series: 10 Things You Can Do to Be Nice to Your Brain

  1. Mental Health Problems are Learning Problems.  #YOUARENOT BROKEN #LEARNING (Theme: Learning to Tolerate Ambiguity)
  2. The Psychological Value of Being Open to New Information and Experiences #MindBlown (Theme: Be Open to New Information)
  3. TODAY! Learning to Reframe Adversity: Yes Bad Things are Terrible, But so is Giving Away Your Power! (Theme: Learn to Reframe Adversity)
  4. You Don’t Have to Act the Way You Feel…Seriously Cut it Out
  5. Zone in on Your Purpose in Life
  6. Master Motivation aka “fire under your butt strategies”
  7. Seek Out Peak Experiences
  8. Stay True to Your Values – Who do YOU want to be in this world?
  9. Learn the Art of Balance
  10. Apply the “Power of Yet” in Your Life

Adversity Gift

There is this pretty cool book called “The Gift of Adversity: The Unexpected Benefits of Life’s Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections” by Norman E. Rosenthal M.D, that I think you should check out. If you are serious about working on your ability to reframe the bad things in your life, so that you can move forward and flourish, then seriously read it, listen to it or find a friend who can give you the short notes version with learning points…like me! See below 🙂

…or better yet, listen to a little YouTube bookstore chitchat with Dr. Rosenthal, MD.

What is the most important lesson about coping with hardship that people should take away from reading The Gift of Adversity?

  • Acceptance: Accept that the adversity has occurred.
  • Response Size: Proportion your response according to the nature of the adversity. Small problem, small response, small amount of energy expended.
  • Analysis: Analyze the situation. Is this within your control or not? Is there anything you can do to make it better? What can I do?
  • Self-Care: Regulate your physical and emotional state, for example, by keeping regular hours of sleeping and waking, eating regular healthy meals, exercising and meditating, spending time with supportive people and establishing boundaries and self-expectations that are different from your “normal” state (do less or protect more). Take care of yourself.
  • Help-Seeking: Reach out for help to family, friends or even mental health professionals. We are on this planet with over 7 billion people, we are not meant to be islands, we are social creatures.
  • Tell Your Story: Turn your experience into a story to help you process it. “This happened, it sucked because, I don’t want to stay in this place, I will try this to make things better for myself…”
  • Reframe: Reframe the adversity, think about it in a different way. “This is what I learned, this is what I know now, I am pretty strong in crappy situations…”

Still Not Convinced?!!?

Don't Stop in the Middle

Well, this is your life and the beautiful thing is that you can choose how you want to live it. I got sick of being miserable so I accepted my situation and created my “work around” for the circumstances I had. Your choice. But, if you want to be a person who flourishes, has the ability to bounce back from unexpected adversity, change or loss, the follow the steps below.

A Recipe for Flourishing for Humans

  1. Unwanted adversity shows up
  2. If you can’t change it, accept it. It is what it is. (or stay stuck here, your choice)
  3. Reframe it so that you can move forward in your life.
  4. Implement a “bounce back strategy” (Resilience is fostered here)
  5. Let the thriving begin and enjoy the flourishing life that you are creating.
  6. Repeat
  7. Learn new new tricks and perspectives while waiting for more adversity to show up (it will happen, it is what life does well).

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TEDTAlk: The Opportunity of Adversity


In Closing

  1. You have muscles not wounds. You have done the heavy lifting.
  2. The struggle you put in today is the strength that you will need tomorrow.
  3. Adversity does not build character it reveals it

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It takes courage, adaptability and strength

to persevere when things don’t go your way.


 

Koru

I never share things here that I haven’t done or are not currently wrestling with. Life is an effort, but the effort is worth the struggle. Who ever thought that this life would be easy, or told you that, is absolutely wrong. The closest we get to easy is the opportunity to work on being happy. #HardwiringHappiness

Tell me about your journey!

#YouGotThis #LiveFully #MentalWellness

Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca

The Psychological Value of Being Open to New Information and Experiences #MindBlown

Open Mind

What Open-Mindedness Looks Like

An open-minded individual…

  • strives to develop a better understanding of the world, willing to listen to other people’s beliefs and opinions, to learn from their insights and experience and makes an effort to try new things (experiential learning) to foster personal growth.
  • understands their strengths and limitations. Meaning that you do not feel obliged to agree with others, but you can respect the rights and beliefs of others without trying to force your own views (strength) and can admit when you don’t know something (limitations).

plugged brainSeries: 10 Things You Can Do to Be Nice to Your Brain

  1. Mental Health Problems are Learning Problems.  #YOUARENOT BROKEN #LEARNING (Theme: Learning to Tolerate Ambiguity)
  2. TODAY! The Psychological Value of Being Open to New Information and Experiences #MindBlown (Theme: Be Open to New Information)
  3. Learning to Reframe Adversity: Yes Bad Things are Terrible, But so is Giving Away Your Power! (Theme: Learn to Reframe Adversity)
  4. You Don’t Have to Act the Way You Feel…Seriously Cut it Out
  5. Zone in on Your Purpose in Life
  6. Master Motivation aka “fire under your butt strategies”
  7. Seek Out Peak Experiences
  8. Stay True to Your Values – Who do YOU want to be in this world?
  9. Learn the Art of Balance
  10. Apply the “Power of Yet” in Your Life

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Are You Feeling Stuck?

From my experience, sometimes people can mistake the feelings associated with being stuck in an old boring routine, or stuck in a old way of being or thinking, with being depressed. Not always, but sometimes.

Here is the secret, your brain is designed to learn, it loves to learn, when you are not learning…YOUR BRAIN IS BORED! Hense, the meh feelings.

Don’t believe me?

Well here is some information from the secret life of therapists…

When you get outside your comfort zone, and come see a counsellor like me, we help Freud.jpg
you to do the work necessary to change the neurobiology of your brain through developing coping strategies, new ways of being, new learning, through a science supported counselling interventions like Behavioural Activation. This is a pretty cool therapy for depression, that focuses on activity scheduling to encourage people to approach activities that they are avoiding, along with analyzing the function of their cognitive processes (thoughts), such as rumination (cycling thoughts), that serve as a form of avoidance. Getting out there and doing, rather than avoiding, helps you to become refocused on your goals and valued directions in life. You tend to feel happier and more empowered. Eventually experiencing the benefits of doing, creates energy and excitement to try new things.


So I think I have your attention.

More doing less avoiding!


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A wee bit of advice..

Don’t Take the Dopamine Short Cut!

Chemical-Structures-of-Neurotransmitters-2015.pngSometimes people find “doing the work” takes too long or it is simply just too hard. Yes, rewiring your brain is hard work! But if you do the work, you get lasting results with so many mental and physical health benefits.

The dopamine short cut means using various substances, legal and not, to elicit a dopamine response artificially, thus fooling the brain. While so many other activities elicit dopamine naturally, like exercising, good sleep, healthy eating, sunlight and music. Yes music! Listening to music taps into the dopamine system, in part, because hearing something new is a signal that the brain is learning something, and we have evolved to enjoy acquiring new information.

So do the work instead of tricking your brain. Tricking is not learning, it just keeps you in the same place…feeling…

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Ok, Now I’m About to Get a Little Nerdy on Ya! Big Time!

Brain Nerd

Let’s Get on a Eudaimonia Trip!

A What???

Eudaimonia, a funky Greek work that means “personal happiness”. More specifically it is the pursuit of happiness, manifestation (creation) of personal growth, self-actualization, flourishing and life meaning. It is very different from it’s cousin, hedonia which is the pursuit and/or experience of pleasure, enjoyment, comfort, and reduced pain. Eudaimonia is a journey, a process, sometimes hard, sometimes easy, but the benefits are immense. It is the satisfaction that comes from constantly developing and living one’s life to the fullest.

Science Says

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  • Research suggests that the greater sense of purpose and personal growth Female Scientist.jpgassociated with eudaimonia correlates with lower cortisol levels (from bad stress levels), better immune function (you get sick less), and more efficient sleep (who doesn’t want that?). Dr. Gary Marcus, NYU
  • Dr. Rich Walker, research psychologist, looked at countless event memories that people were able to remember, and found that “people who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer experiences.”
  • Psychological Well-Being Revisited: Advances in the Science and Practice of Eudaimonia (Full Article)

    • Growing evidence shows that qualities such as purposeful engagement, self-realization and growth, and enlightened self-regard are relevant influences on how long and how well people live.

    • Multiple studies have linked these indicators of well-being to reduced amygdala activation in response to negative stimuli (this means lower anxiety), sustained activity in the ventral striatum and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (emotion regulation) when viewing positive stimuli, and increased insular cortex volume (increased emotion experience such as compassion and empathy).


Ok, enough nerdy science, even though I love it!

It is not about me, it is about you getting out there, being open to new things, new information, new behaviours, new experiences, new activities.

 


Open Mindedness for Psychological Well-being #MindBlown

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Start with becoming a “Yes Person” when it comes to trying healthy new things!

Trying something new often requires courage, but it  opens up the possibility for you to enjoy something new. Trying something new forces you to grow.

Try some of these cool new things!

  • How Books Can Open Your Mind (TEDTalk)
  • Why it’s Worth Listening to People You Disagree With (TEDTalk)
    • We get stronger, not weaker, by engaging with ideas and people we disagree with, says Zachary R. Wood. He calls this process, “Uncomfortable Learning”
    • Being open-minded doesn’t mean you accept all opinions as being true or equally valid. You just listen and try to understand another’s point of view.
  • Planned Happenstance: A cool career theory, (Mitchell, Levin, & Krumboltz, 1999), that helps people generate, recognize, and incorporate chance events into your career development. Go out volunteer for something that you would NEVER expect to interested in and see what happens. This is how I found my career path! You can use this for more than just a career path, it can be used to discover what you love to do in this life. Check out this guide!
  • Mindfulness & Meditation: Foster your cognitive flexibility! Check out these great resources to help guide you though this empirically validated brain intervention: Meditation Resources and Mindfulness Resources.
  • My Favourite Brain Growth Intervention: Participate in a cultural event that is not familiar to you. This can really help you to develop your beginner’s mind (look it up…super cool!).

Minds are Like ParachutesOur opinions and ideas make perfect sense when we look at them through our own lens, and with that, the perspectives of others can sometimes seem wrong. If we want to experience positive mental health, we need to develop a better understanding of the world and other ways of doing things. There is no use in clinging to our beliefs because they’re more familiar and comfortable to us, especially if they hurt or hinder us.

The secret of Change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old,

but on building the new” – Socrates


Tell me about your journey!

#YouGotThis #LiveFully #MentalWellness

Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca


 

Cool Resource!

What processes are taking place in our brain when we are learning?

 

Mental Health Problems ARE Learning Problems #YouAreNot Broken #Learning

Japanese Pottery

For any of you who have been following along with my ramblings about our wonderful adaptable learning brains, you know that I love to follow the research findings and apply them to life. The evidence is with the Psycho-Social Model of mental health and wellbeing (research says so). Meaning that we all grow up under different circumstances, in different contexts, experience different adversities and learn different things along the way. Those factors need to be considered when exploring and explaining our psychological distress and working our way through it #adapting.

We are not not broken, we are beautiful humans with a history, developing resilience along the way, with wonderful adaptive capabilities!


 

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“Mental disorders are brain diseases caused by neurotransmitter dysregulation, genetic anomalies, and defects in brain structure and function.

Yet…

…scientists have not identified a biological cause of, or even a reliable biomarker for, any mental disorder.”

Dr. Brett Deacon, 2013


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So what is the alternative way of thinking? …I hear you asking…

Well, research evidence is showing up all over the place because of new technical advances like the funky fMRI machine and the ability to measure our Cortisol (Stress Hormone) and Oxytocin (Social Bonding Hormone). So yes, we can now measure the effects of exercise, being in nature, social connections and psychotherapeutic interventions, showing that our brains actually change by just doing stuff! This is the Psycho-Social Model of Mental Health and Wellbeing.

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Psycho-Social Model of Mental Health and Wellbeing

The psychosocial approach looks at individuals in the context of the combined influence that psychological factors and the surrounding social environment have on their physical and mental wellness and their ability to function.

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A term coined by psychiatrist R.D. Laing, in The Politics of the Family and Other Essays (1971), a medical model is a “set of procedures in which all doctors are trained.” … Simply stated, the medical model treats mental disorders as physical diseases whereby medication is often used in treatment.


We Need to be Better!

If we want the stigma to subside, if we want people to grow through what they go through, if we want to empower people, we need to shift our thinking and apply the research findings to approach mental health and wellbeing differently.


That means recognizing that our mental health and well-being depends on…

the things that happen to us,

    how we make sense of those events

    and how we respond to them.

  Dr. Peter Kinderman

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A Prescription for Psychiatry: Why We Need a Whole New Approach to Mental Health and Wellbeing.


Ok, Enough PsychNerdy-ness

Have I convinced you to take on this 10 week Psycho-Social Journey in Changing Your Brain?!?!

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Great! come on along!

Start with thinking that you are not broken. You have just been through things, have grown through adversity and, as a human, you continue to adapt by learning strategies to positively adapt to life challenges.

Over the next 10 weeks I will be posting psycho-social related growth ideas, suggestions and strategies in 10 of the most beneficial adaptive areas for human flourishing (I think). 

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10 Things You Can Do to Be Nice to Your Brain

  1. TODAY! Mental Health Problems are Learning Problems.  #YOUARENOT BROKEN #LEARNING (Theme: Learning to Tolerate Ambiguity)
  2. The Psychological Value of Being Open to New Information and Experiences #MindBlown(Theme: Be Open to New Information)
  3. Learning to Reframe Adversity: Yes Bad Things are Terrible, But so is Giving Away Your Power! (Theme: Learn to Reframe Adversity)
  4. You Don’t Have to Act the Way You Feel…Seriously Cut it Out
  5. Zone in on Your Purpose in Life
  6. Master Motivation aka “fire under your butt strategies”
  7. Seek Out Peak Experiences
  8. Stay True to Your Values – Who do YOU want to be in this world?
  9. Learn the Art of Balance
  10. Apply the “Power of Yet” in Your Life

 

Week #1

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Learn to Tolerate Ambiguity

This means staying in uncertainty, or staying with the question, despite the discomfort of not knowing the answer, or not knowing where you are going. I know this is scary!  That is the point. Anything worth developing does feel a bit uncomfortable because it is new and your brain has not learned how to process this yet. Your brain’s job is to keep you safe, good work brain! But sometimes we need to help it to calm down when we are doing things that are just new, not dangerous.

It will take time to relinquish control, learning to enjoy the puzzle without a solution, letting life unfold while knowing that have built some skills along the way that are helpful. You can survive this yucky emotional experience! This is such an important skill for life if you want to feel less anxious. This could open up so many opportunities for you! There might be numerous ways of answering the same question or solving a problem, each with different but potentially positive results.

Check out this wonderful TEDTalk to get you started on teaching your brain that ambiguity is good and that your Amygdala (part of the fear process in your brain) is not always needed:


Some Ambiguity Tolerance Building Tips from and Excellent Blogger

Source: Tolerating Ambiguity by Maggie Dugan

It makes sense that if you can stand to hover in the gray areas between black and white distinction, you might get to a more creative outcome. But how do you cultivate this tolerance for ambiguity?

  • Stay neutral and suspend judgment.
  • Stay curious.
  • Enjoy the mess.
  • Take time.
  • Try things on.

Check out her blog post for the details 🙂


A Little Extra!

Trust Issues?

Check out this recent research:

 People More Likely to Trust and Cooperate if They Can Tolerate Ambiguity


 

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Tell me about your journey!

#YouGotThis #LiveFully #MentalWellness

Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca

Your Phone is a Tool Not an Appendage! and Other Healthy Mind Shifts

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Again, not slagging tech because any tech is AWESOME, we humans are just not so awesome, YET, at using it as a tool that we pick up and put down and walk away from.

Tech Disruption Part #3

This post is Part #3 in a three part series about mental health and your smart phone. Check out Post #1 and Post #2 to learn why reevaluating how you infuse technology into your life is important to your mental wellbeing.


Two Kinds of Tech People

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In my last post I had 6 tips for helping you get you started on spending less time with your phone. I figured that you may just be a little tired of listening to a ‘digital immigrant” so I went searching high and low, through many remote places, to find just the right expert to interview, a real life digital native…just kidding, I just had to look next to me on my sofa 😉

I interviewed a real millennial, a extraordinary digital native, a human who has never seen a world without WiFi and computers/tablets (I know…super weird). Jack Snell is a 17 year old high school student who really loves watching videos on a tiny screen in the same room there is a 72″ television.

Please take a moment to check out his advice on healthy engagement with two very popular social media platforms, Insta and Snap…See! This digital immigrant can still sound cool 😉

Now on to a much more interesting Digital Native…


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Handling Social Media

By Jack Snell 

Click for Full Article: Handling Social Media by Jack Snell *More Info Here

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Pros:

  • It allows you to share information and pictures with friends, family and that dude that you don’t know but seems like a good guy and likes all your stuff.
  • Powerful tool to create your online and real life image.
  • Instagram is just a great place to indulge in whatever you find entertaining.

Cons:

  • People’s self worth can be impacted or even dictated based on the amount of followers and likes that they have.
  • Insta is a place for people to show off and make their lives appear to be better than they actually are.

How to deal:

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Pros:

  • Gives you a quick, easy and fun way to talk to people, and with streaks and scores it can become a real life game.
  • Because you are sending pictures AND text, you have the opportunities to use facial cues to express emotions and context that are annoyingly missing on direct messaging platforms. Emojis just don’t cut it sometimes.
  • Like Instagram, it gives you an opportunity to express yourself and your interests through what you choose to send people and put on your story.

Cons:

  • As I mentioned, it can become like a real life game… and that isn’t good. I’ve been there.
  • Keeping a streak for the sake of keeping it is just weird. Yea, I’ve sent a shot of the floor or my left foot just to keep a streak alive but like… it’s so unnecessary. I doubt people in the 30’s sent blank telegraphs just for the sake of appearing to talk to each other.

How to deal:

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Social media is an amazing tool to connect and express yourself with people. That being said, it can also be extremely controlling. For positive mental health AND physical health, it is essential that we all make an effort to use social media in a more healthy way. Sometimes that might even mean not using it at all.


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Thanks Jack!

It was great to hear your perspective and that you actively use strategies to make your social media experience healthy, fun and overall beneficial.

Great insights and advice!

When Jack is not writing about social media, he is actively posting and scrolling through Instagram pics of cars or writing about them on his blog. Check out his social media: Instagram or WordPress.


 

Brain NerdYou know I couldn’t end without going a bit PsychNerdy on you 😉 So you now have heard from two people, one a digital native, and me, a digital immigrant, who both LOVE technology but are actively working on integrating it as a tool and not having it negatively affect our life. There is yet another area that social media can adversely affect your life and take some of the fun out of it. Now social media is interfering with your food intake and enjoyment!

Say What?!!?

There was a study done at Bringham Young University, “Satiation from sensory simulation: Evaluating foods decreases enjoyment of similar foods“, which found that looking at many too many pictures of food may actually make the act of eating less enjoyable. 

Yes, it is called Sensory Bordom! Now that Instagram is even messing with your food along with your mental wellbeing, your social savvy and your self-esteem, you have a choice. Less time spent on this little device, which is hard, or continue and have your overall wellbeing nose-dive.

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Offline

In Closing

 

Please know…

  • One of the big reasons that we struggle with insecurity today is that we compare our ‘behind-the-scenes’ with everyone else’s ‘highlight reel’. So, keep this “top-of-mind” when you Insta-Creep. When you start feeling icky…drop that phone! Your life IS actually interesting.
  • Being accustomed to having everything at a click means that you tend to keep your life within a comfort or familiar zone. So go out and take some little risks and try something new! Meet a friend in person.
  • You need to stop looking for the “Like Button” in your life.  This is NOT a measure of you as a person, it is a measure of social media influence/addictiveness only. How many times have you just mindlessly clicked “like” with very little emotion or thought? Why don’t you actually tell your friends that you liked their picture or, even better, that you actually like them (say it offline and in person).
  • Your life can be more vivid than it appears on the internet, if you put your phone down once-in-a-while and actually live it.

 

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#YouGotThis #LiveFully #MentalWellness

Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca

Don’t Eat the Marshmallow! and Other Miraculous Hacks for Phone-Life Balance

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This post is Part #2 in a three part series about mental health and your smart phone. Check out Post #1 to learn why reevaluating how you infuse technology into your life is important to your mental wellbeing.

I am well aware that this is a difficult relationship to re-imagine, but this is possibly what is standing between you and living your best life. Again, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE, my tech toys, especially my smartphone. However, I am very aware of what it does to my self-concept, my time management abilities and my overall ability to focus on tasks. Ready to love that little tech wonder in a different way?

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  • Do you compulsively check your phone for messages (from any source)?
  • When you are stressed, do you find that you spend more time on your phone?
  • Are you noticing a loss of interest in face-to-face social interactions?
  • Do you feel “lost” when you do not have your phone?
  • Are you able to be in public alone and not look at your phone?
  • Do you have trouble getting to sleep? Do you spend time on your phone before you go to bed?

If you said “yes” or even “sort of” to any of the above questions, I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship with Smartyphone.


PsychNerdy Stuff that Relates to Your Tech Toys

Brain Nerd

Marshmallow Test

Before I get too far down this rabbit hole, I just have to share one of my favourite psychology experiments, The Marshmallow Test!

In the 1960s, a Stanford professor, Dr. Walter Mischel, began conducting a series of important longitudinal psychological studies on the importance of delayed gratification (being less impulsive). I will let the videos below explain the fascinating and hilarious details of this study. My hope is that it will give you a little insight into the importance of learning to be less impulsive with your phone. If you get nothing out of it, at least you will see young kids struggling to not eat the marshmallow and the side-splitting strategies they try in the attempt to avoid actually eating it. I still LOL when I watch these vids 🙂

Resisting the Marshmallow

A Little Extra for You Fellow PsychNerds!

Delayed GratificationImpulse Control, Digital Dieting, Tech-Life Balance, Mindful Use of Tech, whatever you want to call it you have a choice. A healthy brain or a brain that struggles. A successful life for your future self can start with living more in the real world and less in the digital world.

The Marshmallow Study makes one thing clear: if you want to succeed at something, at some point you will need to find the ability to be disciplined and take action instead of becoming distracted and doing what’s easy.


Love my Brain

Ok, so I hear that you may be tipping in the right direction but have no idea how to actually stop eating the marshmallows (aka looking at your phone).

Here is a recap..

Eating 1 Marshmallow (Looking at Your Phone) = Building Psychological Distress

Waiting for 2 Marshmallows (Phone -Life Balance) = Building Mental Wellbeing

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So, let’s talk about the very cute but large elephant in the room. FOMO!

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In my opinion, this has got to be the worst side effect to this tech revolution. Studies show that FOMO leads to extreme dissatisfaction and has a detrimental effect on your physical and mental health – mood swings, loneliness, feelings of inferiority, reduced self-esteem, extreme social anxiety, and increased levels of negativity and depression.


So, put your phone down! The person who texted you (or Snapped) will be there later, the person in front of you won’t be.


try it now.pngSimple Tips to Spend Less Time on Your Phone

  1. Turn off Notifications:
    • Every time that phone buzzes you are prompted to check it for that little dopamine rush in your brain. Do you really want to be a pavlovian dog?!?
  2. Get the Facts!
    • Find Out How Much You are Using Your Phone. Check out this APP,  Moment (IOS) or Quality Time  (Android).
  3. Set Boundaries and Create “Living in the Real World” Time:
    • Set up phone free periods every day. Go for walks, to the gym, to study, to lunch, etc. without your phone.
    •  Tech Break Strategy: “Start by looking at your phone for one minute and checking all forms of communication, including texts, calls and social media. Then turn it off, set the alarm for 15 minutes and place it face-down in plain sight. The upside-down phone reminds your brain to not release stress and anxiety neurotransmitters” Dr. Larry D. Rosen. Practice practice practice!
    • Bedtime: No screen time 30 minutes before bed. This just fills your brain with rumination information (negative thinking) and light that messes with your melatonin.
  4. Get Some Sleep!
    • When you are tired, it is way harder to fight the urge to check your phone.
    • Try not to use your phone as an alarm clock, or at least set it to airplane mode or “do not disturb” when you sleep.
  5. Challenge Your “Real-Time” Convo Fear:
    • Avoid succumbing to ‘texting syndrome’ by fostering a variety of communication skills. Don’t just rely on texts, Snaps, Instas or even emails. Try actually talking to people on the phone, or even better, in person. Force yourself, build this habit, it is worth it for your mental wellbeing.
  6. Fight FOMO!
    • Stop Looking: The more you look the more you feel like you are missing out. Us GenXer’s could only imagine our friends out there having a great time without us, now all you need to do is scroll Instagram or SnapChat to get the full sad picture of everyone having way more fun than you (which is actually a lie).
    • Perspective: Remember that people only post their best selves, the highlight reel, the incredibly curated selfie that took at least 20 shots to get. You are probably having a great time now, be in THAT moment.

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Next blog post I will be going into more detail around how to manage specific challenges with applications such as SnapChat, Instagram and getting caught in the endless streaming cycle with YouTube and Netflix. Join me and please feel free to ask questions or suggest topic areas 🙂

Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca

 

Social Media, Your Beautiful Brain and a Need for Some #TechDisruption: 3 Part Series

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Disruptive Technology

In 1997, the term “disruptive technology” emerged as a term to help people conceptualize the rapid growth and impact of technology in our lives. Super smart Harvard Business professor, Clayton M. Christensen, coined this term in his best selling book, “The Innovator’s Dilemma”. He presented the idea of separating new technology into two categories: sustaining and disruptive. Sustaining technology relies on incremental improvements to an already established technology. Making what already exists better. A disruptive technology shakes things up a little by introducing something completely new.


What I want to share with you today is disruptive technology for your “necktop” computer, your lovely brain. I want to start with considering the wiring of your brain and the positive and negative impacts that technology has had on our brain development.

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This is definitely not a post slagging technology nor ripping on millenials. I LOVE technology, like seriously love technology! I just want to offer some suggestions around how to have a smart relationship with your phone so that it is mutually beneficial.

What Makes Me a Tech Use Expert?

Well, the reason I think this is an important topic is because I have had the benefit of being a bona fide member of GenX which provided me with a titrated tech experience. This slow drip of new technology created an environment perfect to learn how to love and own a smart phone without it owning me. So, I think I just may have some solid advice for you on your road to a healthy tech balance.


Ok, I hear you saying…

GenX?!?! Who? Well look up “slacker generation” and one of the first sites to appear on Google is GenX. Yes, millenials, we were once ripped on by society too 🙂 So you can trust me! Let’s start DISRUPTING!


Technology Running Amok

social_network_chain.pngI want to start with helping you gain a better understanding of what happens when you let technology run amok, unsupervised, rampant and with no babysitter. You need to take charge of  this trusted tech BFF and not allow it to secretly control so many aspects of your life. I hear from many of my students that the mere existence of social media makes it “way harder” for them than past generations. Yes, it is true, any new technology poses problems until us incredible humans learn to adapt to it. I am not going to let you off the hook that easily because you are the boss, not the tech! Human are adaptable.

I think learning how to use tech in a healthy way will require some background in brain science to convince you that this difficult learning, and behavioural shift, is important if you want to make technology a friend in your life and not a bully.


 

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Want to Know More Smartphone Brain Science?

Check out this video to gain a better understanding of what your

little innocent phone is doing to you.

5 Crazy Ways Social Media Is Changing Your Brain Right Now


Brain Nerd

PsychNerdy Time!

With a Smart Twist 😉

I love psych science! It helps me understand this big ol’ world and learn ways that I can live very happily in it. I want to help you do the same.

I have already established my love for my tech toys and I definitely have no plans to live without them. My only option has been mindful tech integration in my life. Being strategic about how I consume and utilize these wonderful digital advances in a way that maintains the healthy brain that I have worked so hard to nurture.

I am going to sneak in a wee bit more psych-nerdy science to help you understand why disrupting your current smart phone relationship, and doing things differently, is actually an urgent matter.

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There is a pretty incredible longitudinal study, The Monitoring the Future survey, which has asked students in grade 12 more than 1,000 questions every year since 1975 (and students in grade 8 and 10 since 1991).

This survey asks teens how happy they are and how much of their spare time is spent on various activities. Here are some highlights:

  • Teens who spend more time than average on screen activities are more likely to be unhappy, and those who spend more time than average on non screen activities are more likely to be happy. All screen activities are linked to less happiness, and all non-screen activities are linked to more happiness.
  • 10+ Hours of Screen Time: Teens who spend 10 or more hours a week on social media are 56 % more likely to say they’re unhappy than those who devote less time to social media.
  • 6-9 Hours of Screen Time: Teens those who spend six to nine hours a week on social media are still 47% more likely to say they are unhappy than those who use social media even less.

More Screen Time = More Sad

More Non-Screen Time = More Happy


Want to Be Happier?

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GO BE AROUND YOUR FRIENDS!

For the love of your beautiful neural network, PUT DOWN YOUR PHONElive your life for a while and stand near a human.

#BrainLove   #PositiveComputing   #Digital Dieting

 


3 Part Brain Love Series

In the next two blog posts I want to help you develop tools that prepare you to manage your wellbeing. No, you don’t have to break up with your phone, but you do need to take charge, be the boss and stop being subtly bullied by your phone.

Here are some of the highlights of the next two posts:

  • Addiction to devices and social media.
  • Looking for the “Like Button”.
  • Distraction and instant gratification
  • The distortion of reality and the effect on your self-esteem. 
  • Strategies for healthy smartphone relationships.

 

Sacrifice


Join me and start DISRUPTING this tech invasion and

truly make your smart phone your BFF 🙂

Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca

New Year? Build Some Badass Positive Habits!

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This is Your Year!

You want to make some changes, take on some new challenges and keep developing into your best self. Whatever your goals are, the most important thing to remember is that this is a messy process, a beautifully messy process.

Don’t expect smooth sailing, or perfection, or the easy way out, if you want to grow. Personal development and change is all about geting out of your comfort zone. If you want your life to be different you need to do things differently.

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Doing things differently does not have to be painful! Sustainable change happens at a pace that is manageable for you. Focus on small shifts everyday that lead toward your goal. Accepting setbacks as learning, and not letting them derail you, is an important perspective to foster. It is all about the direction not perfection.


Perspectives, Strategies, Approaches and Ideas to Get You Started

  • Sustainable Progress: Just take it one day at a time. Your goal is to move in the right direction with patience and the acceptance of setbacks as part of the learning. Don’t try to change everything all at once, pick a few areas to work on. Small daily habits lead to long term growth.
  • Write Down Your Goals: Use a goal setting method such as S.M.A.R.T.
  • Make Your Goals Visible: Post them on your wall, create a card that you carry with you or create a vision board to remind you of where you are heading and why. Use this to visualize yourself accomplishing your goals.
  • Personal Wellness Approach: Surround yourself with positive influences. Reward yourself often when you are on the right track. Believe in yourself, and your ability to work through adversity, by consciously remembering the times when you have overcome difficulty in your life (write these down for future reference!). Acknowledge your positive attributes by also making a list of what you do well. Be kind to yourself by avoiding comparison with others (you have no idea what the real situation is for them).
  • Recognize Your Progress: “Feeling” like you are not succeeding is not fact. Feelings are fleeting. Take a moment and capture where you started and where you are now. Look at the facts.

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Feeling Stuck?

Not Sure How to Even Start Building New Habits?

Not Sure How to Get “Doing”?

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and read this!

How to Cultivate the Habits that Matter to You


Need Some Productivity Hacks?

10 Ways to Be More Productive in 2018


 

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One of the most important things that I have learned is that your goals need to be your own, not for someone else, if you want to achieve them. It is going to get tough at times and you need to be clear why you are working toward this goal. At times, you are going to want to quit, but if you can really see yourself achieving this goal and what it will do for you, it makes the hard times easier to work through 🙂


Dr. Heather Drummond, EdD (Counselling Psychology)

eSuccess-Coach * Passionate Advocate for Student Success

heather.drummond@mohawkcollege.ca